They say “the road to Hell is paved with good intentions,” meaning that often intention is different from the impact our words and actions have on others.
The difference between intent and impact is incredibly helpful when facilitating disagreements or conflict, as it separates the two, but also acknowledges that the impact is just as important as the intention.
The trick to get intent and impact to line up is communicating clearly, not making assumptions, and deep empathy. Every major hellish conflict in my life stemmed from unclear communication, assumptions being made on both sides, and a strong focus on ourselves rather than the other party.
I’d assert the same goes for every major conflict in your life as well.
Funny how it all lines up.