An illustration of the author wearing a face mask and the text "Black Lives Matter" in a speech bubble

Systems Over Solo

I used to subscribe to the notion that I was bad with birthdays. I told myself the story that I was often too busy, too distracted building things to remember all of the birthdays of my friends and family. 

This became a harmful spiral that led to behavior that reinforced this, and I would kick myself for constantly forgetting people’s birthdays unless Facebook reminded me of it. 

Then I realized that there’s nothing wrong with creating calendar reminders, or taking down notes, or creating whatever system will alleviate my issue around remembering important birthdays. 

You might be telling yourself that if I really cared, I would remember. I’d like to think that I care enough to build a system instead of leaving remembering it up to my fallible, easily sleep-deprived and overloaded brain.

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