An illustration of the author wearing a face mask and the text "Black Lives Matter" in a speech bubble

Looking

When we think about who we are, it’s tempting to focus on what we see in our mind’s eye.

But there’s the danger of distortion, or minimizing or maximizing what we perceive to be flaws or weaknesses. 

Whether it’s focusing on where we think ourselves lacking, or puffing up to compensate for where we’re actually lacking, it can be harmful to focus on these distorted images, but they’re often more comfortable than acknowledging who we really are. 

To see yourself more clearly, it pays to focus on getting comfortable with looking clearly than it is to focus on what you see.

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