It seems like a lot of people are confused about candor. They think that by giving someone direct, clear feedback they’re helping everyone grow and improve.
And this is correct, however most of the people adopting this form of feedback mistakenly believe that this is their ticket to throw social niceties out the door and be a mean person about it.
Because if you actually want the other person to change, you need to enroll them in your vision of a better them. You won’t enroll anyone if you’re a jerk.